Freaking hilarious jokes

Freaking hilarious jokes DEFAULT

Meaning of hilarious in English

Of these two classes, the former is particularly hilarious, for homophony clearly enhances the intrinsically humorous effect of a hidden joke.

From the Cambridge English Corpus

A totally hilarious number full of expletives thrown out in a monologue by an army general had the audience in stitches of laughter.

From the Cambridge English Corpus

He kneels in obeisance: she leads him up the staircase to unthinkable punishments: it's hilarious.

From the Cambridge English Corpus

The 'excuse me' was a hilarious exception, but its specificity and intensity overwhelmed all the other material and it had to go.

From the Cambridge English Corpus

Daniell's evaluation of the many twentieth-century translations is sometimes hilarious.

From the Cambridge English Corpus

Slang is indeed by turns undignified, entertaining, hilarious, affectionate, revolting, and insulting, and more than any other register of language represents the many moods, attitudes, and prejudices of individuals.

From the Cambridge English Corpus

I remember from my time as a parliamentary candidate that spoilt ballot papers could throw up some quite hilarious issues.
From the

Hansard archive

Reading the depositions in evidence on cases of proof of age can be a quite hilarious exercise.
From the

Hansard archive

It was hilarious, given the size of us both.
From the

Hansard archive

It will in history come to be regarded as one of the more hilarious footnotes to the crisis.
From the

Hansard archive

He is not like the hilarious inarticulates who are laughing now.
From the

Hansard archive

He was right not to be triumphant, and his followers were right not to be hilarious.
From the

Hansard archive

No one has referred to a hilarious success.
From the

Hansard archive

Apart from one or two slightly hilarious sections, it has been a very serious debate.
From the

Hansard archive

These examples are from corpora and from sources on the web. Any opinions in the examples do not represent the opinion of the Cambridge Dictionary editors or of Cambridge University Press or its licensors.

Sours: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/hilarious

34 of the funniest jokes and memes about Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp going down

Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp all went down yesterday – and the memes rolled in on Twitter.

The three major apps, all owned by Facebook, completely stopped working shortly after 5pm. Social media users were faced with error pages and unresponsive feeds. W

Facebook spokesperson Andy Stone took to Twitter to apologise for the inconvenience. He said: “We’re aware that some people are having trouble accessing our apps and products,”

“We’re working to get things back to normal as quickly as possible, and we apologize for any inconvenience.”

The same statement was posted shortly after on the official Facebook Twitter page.

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Instagram followed suit and shared a similar update.

“Instagram and friends are having a little bit of a hard time right now, and you may be having issues using them. Bear with us, we’re on it!”

WhatsApp also took to Twitter to update frustrated users: “We’re aware that some people are experiencing issues with WhatsApp at the moment. We’re working to get things back to normal and will send an update here as soon as possible,” it said.

“Thanks for your patience!”

Naturally, social media users turned to the one platform that was still functioning – and companies wanted in on the action.

“hello literally everyone”, the official Twitter account tweeted, which prompted McDonald’s, WhatsApp, Instagram, OnlyFans and Reddit to join the conversation and make light of the social media meltdown.

And of course, feeds were filled with memes.

Maybe MySpace was the best social media platform after all?

Some folks were even reminiscing about Ceefax.

It was a bad day for people who get all their information from Facebook.

Even Netflix was trolling.

Eventually, all the websites were restored and all was well in the world again.

The widespread disruption was blamed on a “faulty configuration change”, with Facebook saying in a statement: “Our engineering teams have learned that configuration changes on the backbone routers that coordinate network traffic between our data centres caused issues that interrupted this communication.

“This disruption to network traffic had a cascading effect on the way our data centres communicate, bringing our services to a halt.”

Normal service resumed around 11 pm GMT but the memes are going to live on for a little while longer.

In a leaked transcript published in The Verge in 2019, chief executive Mark Zuckerberg suggested that such outrages are a “big deal”, as problems can lead people to use competitor platforms instead. It also noted that it could take “months” to win back trust and get people back on Facebook’s platforms.

Sours: https://www.indy100.com/viral/facebook-instagram-whatsapp-down-memes-b1932414
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The 125 Funniest Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids

Knock-knock jokes are famous for their repetitive and universally recognized format. They’ve earned somewhat of a bad rap, as the least funny knock-knock jokes tend to be the most famous. But the best knock-knock jokes for kids and adults are not only tolerable but genuinely funny. They may come in corny packaging, but they bring laughter anyway (and maybe some grumbling.)  Knock knock jokes may rank one step below baby drum sets and just above the baby shark song in terms of their ability to annoy parents. But that’s kind of the point. Knock-knock jokes welcome corniness and their subsequent eye rolls with welcoming arms.

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So is there a way to make knock-knock jokes for kids funny, or even just bearable, for adults? Believe it or not, killer knock-knock jokes do exist. “I believe what makes knock-knock jokes fun is the fact that they are interactive,” says Rob Elliot, dad joke extraordinaire and author of Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids. “You have to respond to get to the punch line. This makes them fun for kids and their families ⏤ even if parents are not particularly fans of knock-knock jokes.”

To find the funniest (and corniest) knock-knock jokes for kids, Elliot suggests seeking out jokes that are surprising. Otherwise, look for jokes that “poke fun at knock-knock jokes or about hearing another knock-knock joke … because we all know after too many they drive us all a bit crazy.”

Here are 125 killer knock-knock jokes for kids and adults, including a few good ones from Elliot’s book, plus several increasingly corny new ones.

        1. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Leon
          Leon who?
          Leon me when you’re not strong!
        2. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Annie
          Annie who?
          Annie thing you can do I can better!
        3. Knock, knock
          Who’s there? 
          Lena
          Lena who?
          Lena a little closer, and I’ll tell you another joke!
        4. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Wa
          Wa who?
          What are you so excited about?!
        5. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          I am
          I am who?
          Don’t you even know who you are?!
        6. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          A leaf.
          A leaf who?
          A leaf you alone if you leaf me alone.
        7. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Tiss.
          Tiss who?
          A Tiss-who is for blowing your nose.  
        8. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Quiche
          Quiche who?
          Can I have a hug and a quiche?
        9. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Hike
          Hike who?
          I didn’t know you liked Japanese poetry!
        10. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          A little old lady
          A little old lady who?
          Wow, I didn’t know you could yodel!
        11. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Ice cream soda 
          Ice cream soda who?
          Ice scream soda people can hear me!
        12. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Candice 
          Candice who?
          Candice joke get any worse?!
        13. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Haven
          Haven who?
          Haven you heard enough of these knock-knock jokes?
        14. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Double
          Double who?
          W!
        15. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Banana
          Banana who?
          Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Banana
          Banana who?
          Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Orange
          Orange who?
          Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
        16. Knock,knock,
          Who’s there?
          Olive.
          Olive who?
          Olive next door. Hi neighbor!
        17. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Saul.
          Saul who?
          Saul there is — there ain’t no more!
        18. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Keith
          Keith who?
          Keith me, my thweet prince!
        19. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Adore
          Adore who? 
          Adore is between you and me so please open up!
        20. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Anita
          Anita who?
          Anita drink of water so please let me in!
        21. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Europe
          Europe who?
          No, you’re a poo!
        22. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Hawaii
          Hawaii who?
          I’m fine, Hawaii you?
        23. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Nun
          Nun who?
          Nunya business!
        24. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Alex
          Alex who?
          Alex-plain when you open the door!
        25. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          June
          June who?
          June know how long I’ve been knocking out here?
        26. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Spell
          Spell who?
          W-H-O!
        27. Knock, knockWho’s there?
          Anita
          Anita who?
          Anita go to the bathroom!
        28. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Dejav 
          Dejav who?
          Knock, knock
        29. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Owls say
          Owls say who?
          Yes, they do.
        30. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Cargo
          Cargo who?
          Cargo beep, beep and vroom, vroom!
        31. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Carl.
          Carl who?
          A Carl get you there faster than a bike.
        32. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          To
          To who?
          No, it’s to whom!
        33. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Cash
          Cash who?
          No thanks, but I’d love some peanuts.
        34. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Ya
          Ya who?
          No thanks, I use Bing or Google.
        35. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Control Freak
          Contro-
          Okay, now you say control freak who?
        36. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Billy Bob Joe Penny
          Billy Bob Joe Penny who?
          Really? How many Billy Bob Joe Pennies do you know?
        37. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Beats
          Beats who?
          Beats me. 
        38. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Theodore
          Theodore who?
          Theodore wasn’t opened so I knocked.
        39. Knock,knock,
          Who’s there?
          Alec
          Alec who?
          Alec it when you ask me questions. 
        40. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Cereal
          Cereal who?
          Cereal pleasure to meet you!
        41. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Cantaloupe
          Cantaloupe who?
          Cantaloupe to Vegas, you’re too young!
        42. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Kenya
          Kenya who?
          Kenya feel the love tonight?
        43. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Interrupting sloth
          Interrupting sloth who?
          (20 seconds of silence)
          Sloooooooooth
        44. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Ida
          Ida who?
          I think it’s pronounced Idaho.
        45. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Art
          Art who?
          R2-D2!
        46. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Smellmop
          Smellmop who?
          Ew, no thanks!
        47. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          I need a puh
          I need a puh-who?
          Then why don’t you find a toilet! 
        48. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Hatch
          Hatch who?
          God bless you!
        49. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Tank
          Tank who?
          You’re welcome.
        50. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Voodoo
          Voodoo who?
          Voodoo you think you are asking me so many questions?
        51. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Boo
          Boo who?
          Uh, why are you crying?
        52. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Opportunity 
          Opportunity doesn’t knock twice!
        53. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Honeybee
          Honeybee who?
          Honeybee a dear and open up will you?
        54. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Mustache
          Mustache who?
          Mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later!
        55. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Dwayne
          Dwayne who?
          Dwayne the bathtub ⏤ I’m dwowning!
        56. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Says
          Says who?
          Says me, that’s who!
        57. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Alice
          Alice who?
          Alice so quiet. Let’s make some noise!
        58. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Iran
          Iran who?
          Iran all the way here!
        59. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Doctor
          Doctor who?
          No, no, just the doctor.
        60. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Euripides
          Euripides who?
          Euripides jeans and you pay for them, okay?
        61. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Amish
          Amish who?
          Really, you’re a shoe? Uh, okay.
        62. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Figs
          Figs who?
          Figs the doorbell!
        63. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Dishes
          Dishes who?
          Dishes the police, open up!
        64. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Police.
          Police who?
          Police hurry, I’ve got to go to the bathroom. 
        65. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Lettuce.
          Lettuce who?
          Lettuce in or we’ll break down the door!
        66. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Razor
          Razor who?
          Razor hand and dance the boogie!
        67. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          I am
          I am who?
          So you have identity problems, huh?
        68. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Luke
          Luke who?
          Luke through the keyhole and see!
        69. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Amos
          Amos who?
          A mosquito!
        70. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Anudder
          Anudder who?
          Anudder mosquito!
        71. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Howard
          Howard who?
          Howard I know?
        72. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Odysseus
          Odysseus who?
          Odysseus the last straw!
        73. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          A Mayan
          A Mayan who?
          A Mayan in the way?
        74. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?

          …uncomfortable silence who?
          Snow use, I forgot my name again. 
        75. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Abe
          Abe who?
          Abe-C-D-E!
        76. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Icing
          Icing who?
          Icing so loudly so everyone can hear me!
        77. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Tennis
          Tennis who?
          Tennis five plus five!
        78. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Nicholas
          Nicholas who?
          A Nicholas not much money these days.
        79. Knock, Knock
          Who’s there?
           Candice
           Candice who?
           Candice door open or am I stuck out here?
        80. Knock Knock
          Who’s there?
          Cow
          Cow who?
          No cow says mooooooo!
        81. Knock Knock
          Who’s there?
          Annie
          Annie who?
          Annie way you can let me in?
        82. Knock,knock,
          Who’s there?
          Canoe
          Canoe who?
          Canoe come and play? I’m bored!
        83. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Gorilla
          Gorilla who?
          Gorilla me a hamburger!
        84. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Snow
          Snow who?
        85. Knock, Knock
          Who’s there?
          Kanga
          Kanga who?
          Actually it’s Kangaroo
        86. Knock, Knock
          Who’s there?
          A broken pencil
          A broken pencil who?
          Never mind it’s pointless
        87. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Cabbage
          Cabbage who?
          You expect a cabbage to have a last name?
        88. Knock Knock
          Who’s there?
          Robin
          Robin who?
          Robin you! Now hand over the cash
        89. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          You didn’t remember me!
        90. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Sweden
          Sweden who?
          Sweden sour chicken!
        91. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Alpaca
          Alpaca who?
          Alpaca the trunk, you pack the suitcase.
        92. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Pecan
          Pecan who?
          Pecan someone your own size.
        93. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Boo
          Boo who?
          Why are you crying?
        94. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Atch
          Atch who?
          Bless you!
        95. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Cows go
          Cows go who?
          No, silly! Cows go moo.
        96. Moo.
          (Confusion) Who’s there?
          A time-traveling cow. 
        97. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Lettuce
          Lettuce who?
          Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
        98. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Thank
          Thank who?
          You’re welcome! 
        99. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?

          Nobel
          Nobel who?
          Nobel, that’s why I knocked! 
        100. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?

          Ash
          Ash who?
          Sounds like you have a cold!
        101. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Weirdo
          Weirdo who?
          Weirdo you think you’re going?
        102. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Justin
          Justin who?
          Justin time for dinner!
        103. Knock, Knock
          Who’s there?
          Wooden shoe
          Wooden shoe who?
          Wooden shoe like to hear more jokes?
        104. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Interrupting pirate
          Interrupting pira-
          ARGHHHHHHHH
        105. Knock, Knock
          Who’s there?
          Orange
          Orange who?
          Orange you going to unlock the door? 
        106. Knock knock
          Who’s there?
          Horsp
          Horsp who?
          Did you just say “horse poo?”
        107. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Sarah.
          Sarah who?
          Is Sarah phone I could use?
        108. Knock knock
          who’s there?
          Oink oink
          oink oink who?
          Are you a pig or an owl?
        109. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Honeydew.
          Honeydew who?
          Honeydew you wanna dance?
        110. Knock knock.
          Who’s there?
          Daisy
          Daisy who?
          Daisy me rolling, they hating…
        111. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Someone too short to reach the doorbell!

        112. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Interrupting seep.
          Interupting Sheep W…
          Baaaaaaaaa

        113. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Kent.
          Kent who?
          Kent you tell by my voice? 
        114. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Radio.
          Radio who?
          Radio not, here I come!
        115. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Utah.
          Utah who?
          U-talking to me?
        116. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Goat.
          Goat who?
          Go-to the front door and find out!
        117. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          The gestapo.
          The gestapo who?
          We’ll ask the questions!
        118. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          A wood wok.
          A wood wok who?
          A wood wok 500 miles, and I wood wok 500 more.
        119. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Reed.
          Reed who?
          Redo? OK. Knock, knock.
        120. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          A kish.
          A kish who?
          I don’t know her name. 
        121. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Cuck.
          Cuck who?
          What, are you a clock now?
        122. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Bam.
          Bam who?
          Bam who is what pandas eat. Let’s go out for pizza. 
        123. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Dijiri.
          Dijiri who?
          (Makes spitting sound like a didgeridoo)
        124. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Peeka.
          Peeka who?
          Oh, there you are!
        125. Knock, knock
          Who’s there?
          Tat.
          Tat who?
          I’ve always thought you’d look good with an anchor on your arm. 

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Sours: https://www.fatherly.com/play/funniest-knock-knock-jokes-kids/
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